Mother’s Day is often wrapped in a single story: flowers on the table, a phone call home, a simple “thank you” offered with love. Yet in truth, this day is far more complex.
For some, Mother’s Day is a celebration filled with love, warmth, and gratitude. It is a story many recognize, and for some, it is deeply true.
But this is only one story of Mother’s Day.
For others, Mother’s Day carries the weight of absence. A familiar voice, a steady presence, a loving touch may no longer be part of daily life. On days like this, grief can feel especially heavy. Love remains, but it has changed form.
For others, they have complicated relationships with their mothers. Estrangement, whether chosen or imposed, can be an act of survival, a boundary, or a deep and necessary truth. This comes with its own tenable heartache.
There are mothers in war-torn regions, displaced from their homes. Mothers who cannot protect their children from hunger, violence, and loss. They move through their day with love and fear co-existing in their bodies alongside unimaginable grief.
There are those who long to be mothers and are not. Those who mother in often-unseen ways—through caregiving, mentorship, and community. Those who have lost children. Those who are walking the tender path of becoming, or consciously choosing not to become, a mother. Motherhood is not a singular experience. It is not always soft, or safe, or celebratory. And still, it can be sacred—held in devotion, love, and mystery. If this day brings you joy, may you celebrate it fully. If it brings sorrow, distance, or quiet reflection, may you move through it gently, in the way that feels right for you. And if your story does not resemble the dominant narrative of this day, know that it still belongs. It is still worthy of being witnessed and held with care.
Perhaps the invitation of Mother's Day is not just to celebrate, but to widen our understanding of what it means to love, to nurture, to lose, and to continue. Because Mother's Day is not one story.
There are many.
And all of them matter.
This Mother's Day, I will be celebrating the three beautiful humans I have had the honor of raising with so much gratitude. Along with tenderly missing my sweet mother. And holding those around the world with tender hearts in my thoughts and prayers ❤️
With love,
Elizabeth
Music Playlist
Take a breath. Let the music hold you for a moment.
We’re always tending to our community playlist — not just us, but our graduates, our team, and our wider circle. When a song speaks to someone’s heart, we add it.
Do you have a song that meets you in the contemplation of mortality, grief, or the full circle of life?
Jane K. Callahan is an end-of-life educator through the University of Vermont, INELDA, NEDA, and a death positive advocate who has practiced in her community for nearly a decade. She has worked with hospices and senior centers in two states and speaks at various institutions on end-of-life issues. In addition to serving on the board of directors for the Funeral Consumers Alliance North Carolina, Jane is a graduate student in clinical mental health at North Carolina Central University, focusing on thanatology. Read her newsletter, The Terminal: https://deathdoulanews.substack.com/
A Death Doula's Guide to a Meaningful End (Chicago Review Press) is a mix of real patient stories, expert interviews, memoir, and applicable advice. Whether you're a new doula interested in getting a deeper look at what doing this work looks like over the years, a hospice volunteer, or someone who is interested in how to improve the end of life journey for yourself or a loved one, this book has something for everyone. Each chapter focuses on a specific topic, ranging from grief to caretaking to making end-of-life decisions, by blending stories and guidance to put concepts in context.
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