We would love for you to meet Cesiah Galan. You may have seen her on Zoom calls as our Tech, or perhaps on the website via her bio. She has a beautiful story to tell - one of love, loss and healing - and we are honored that she has shared her story with our community.
English Version
I’m a proud Salvadoran, raised in a deeply religious household where my parents were pastors of an Apostles & Prophets Christian church. This duality created confusion for me. At church, my mom was the ideal pastor’s wife—submissive, obedient, and always smiling. At home, she was the same but more openly affectionate, though she was often silent or distressed.
My dad, meanwhile, was a respected preacher at church but a “macho Latino” at home—violent and neglectful. He would hit us and then seek forgiveness the next day, which only deepened my sense of confusion and resentment.
As the youngest of three girls, I was cherished but also carried the weight of my family's struggles. I was forced to forgive my dad, leading me to become a challenging daughter who rejected his attempts at love, knowing they were rooted in guilt. I tried to embody the obedient Biblical woman but felt I was failing miserably.
At 14, I joined a different church and spent a decade seeking change for my family through prayer, fasting, and spiritual retreats. By 24, I was exhausted, feeling there must be more to life than religious practices. My family mocked me for questioning their beliefs, calling me the “daughter of Satan.”
The death of a dear friend from brain cancer at 20 was a turning point. She had wanted to be reunited with her father and left this world unfulfilled. Her request for me to live fully and seek answers led me to reconsider how to honor her memory...
Cuando la persona más dulce me ofreció la oportunidad de compartir mi historia, me sentí tanto honrada como aterrorizada. Nuestros pensamientos, emociones y sensaciones a menudo no son reconocidos, lo que hace que sea un desafío articularlos. Pero aquí vamos (dedos cruzados).
Soy una orgullosa salvadoreña, criada en un hogar profundamente religioso donde mis padres eran pastores de una iglesia cristiana de Apóstoles y Profetas. Esta dualidad me creó confusión. En la iglesia, mi mamá era la esposa ideal del pastor: sumisa, obediente y siempre sonriente. En casa, era la misma pero más abiertamente afectuosa, aunque a menudo estaba silenciosa o angustiada.
Mi papá, mientras tanto, era un predicador respetado en la iglesia, pero un “macho latino” en casa—violento y negligente. Nos golpeaba y luego buscaba perdón al día siguiente, lo que solo profundizaba mi sensación de confusión y resentimiento.
Como la menor de tres hijas, era apreciada pero también cargaba con el peso de las luchas de mi familia. Me obligaron a perdonar a mi papá, lo que me llevó a convertirme en una hija desafiante que rechazaba sus intentos de amor, sabiendo que estaban basados en la culpa. Intenté encarnar a la mujer bíblica obediente pero sentía que estaba fracasando miserablemente.
A los 14 años, me uní a una iglesia diferente y pasé una década buscando el cambio para mi familia a través de la oración, el ayuno y retiros espirituales...
With a background as a maternal-child public health nurse and birth doula, Nancy found her calling as a Death Doula in 2016 after attending the first International Death Doula Conference. Shortly afterwards, she met Phyllis Shacter who wrote the trailing-blazing memoir, "Choosing to Die", about her advocacy for her husband who chose to use voluntarily stop eating and drinking (VSED) in order to avoid the progression of Alzheimer’s. So, when Nancy's first death doula client chose VSED, she continued to expand her knowledge.
Nancy is now the co-founder and coordinator of VSED Resources Northwest, a community non-profit created because of the urgent need for awareness and availability of VSED - this legal, end-of-life choice mostly unknown and unsupported by our medical community. Their website’s resources are becoming known throughout the Pacific Northwest and even across the US - Offering phone and email consultations, forming partnerships with other community and state agencies, coalitions, and associations to advocate for the needs of our aging population, and preparing death doulas, care-partners, hospice nurses and palliative care professionals in being adept at initiating conversations about end-of-life choices.
Over the past two years, Nancy has been part of a six-member group of clinicians engaged in writing the FIRST ever American VSED Clinician Guidelines. In August 2023, these guidelines were published in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management and are free to download. This group continues to meet and are currently writing clinical guidelines for Comfort Feeding Only, for individuals who have lost capacity to make end-of-life choices.
Amongst all this beautiful work, this past year they also organized a collective of care-givers experienced with MAID and VSED, who gather monthly for mutual support and education. Their next goal is to manifest a ‘Place to die’ – a comfortable, spacious home where a person and their family members can gather and stay while using MAID or VSED.
Want more VSED resources?
In addition to a wealth of resources on the VSED Resources Northwest website, the "VSED Handbook", written by Kate Christie is a wonderful book. The author paired VSED preparation information with the story of her mother’s VSED experience in this important resource.
Nancy is also writing a Manual about VSED for Death Doulas and a booklet, VSED from the Outside, describing what family members will see during the time their person is dying by voluntarily stopping eating and drinking.
For more information, please reach out to Nancy Simmers and their team directly!
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